Mother Running Rampant

I like being in the demographic that reads both Running Times and the New York Times, but as it happens, being in that demographic also put me on a list to receive a catalog with pink purse-sized tasers. With my birthday coming up in a few days, I’ll just make it clear that a pink taser is my #2 birthday wish. While I neeeeeeeeed a pink taser, this blog post is about my #1 wish.

In the past week, I’ve felt more and  more like Ada in Cold Mountain, the 21st century-WASP version. (Did you know Charles Frazier is a runner? I can’t believe Ada didn’t run.) On Saturday, I left for my 18-miler and walked into my garage to see a snake slide under my wood pile. It’s still there, or at least, I didn’t go after it. (I’m Ada at the beginning of the book, by the way.)

On Sunday afternoon, I found my cat Milo paralyzed on the floor next to my bed, moaning. In a panic, I scooped him up in my arms and took him to the emergency vet, who kept him overnight to run tests. When I went back on Monday, Milo was unresponsive, evidently afflicted by an FIV-related neurological infection that would cost many more thousands of dollars to maybe fix than I have to spend. I pet him for half an hour, during which time he didn’t purr, blink, or move, and then I said good-bye. My house is very quiet this week.

Today, I opened my back door to go for an early-morning 5-miler, and found this thing at eye-level. I looked at his striped legs, bulging torso, and inch-long evilness and left for my run.

When I got back, I used spider spray and a shovel to kill him 329 times. I felt like Ada after she killed the rooster. With apologies to the animal rights people, I can’t wait to get my taser on that snake.

So here I am, morphing into Ada Of the Exurbs, mourning Milo, and Jack puts me on one of these:

Jack has been testing an elliptiGO for a while, and he lent it to me to try as a cross-training tool that happens to be ideal for rehabbing a runner, whether you’re talking about overuse injuries of the physical or mental variety. On Monday afternoon, Henry and I took to the middle school parking lot to get some fresh air with our wheels.

At first, I felt wobbly on the eGO, because you’re up so high and pushing off while getting your foot in the pedal without tipping seems like a circus act. I think there was a moment when I had my left leg in an accidental arabesque while I coasted in a circle, sort of like the glittery lady who stands on the back of a white stallion. Thank God it doesn’t have toe clips, or I’d be a goner. As soon as I was in with both feet and could pedal, Henry yelled, “I want to do it! Let me do it! I want to ride it! Mom! Mom! Mamaaaaaaaaa!”

“This is a grownup’s Razr scooter, child. It’s just not safe,” I said with zero sincerity.

Once you get going, it’s fast and easy to manage, and you quickly overcome the initial feeling of dorkiness.  The eGO even has gears–and a cupholder! It remains to be seen if you can get a true flood of endorphins from an eGO workout, but if I was benched with an injury, this would be the way to train through recovery. My test ride proved it’s an awesome freewheeling good time that could compete with my addiction to pancakes. In fact, it could be a necessary complement to my addiction to pancakes. 

It’s also a good way to make friends. Last night, I brought my eGO to track for a clinic and demo with my runners. There was enough fascination right off the bat to create an eGO relay, and people got it flying pretty fast.

My co-coach already wants to pimp it with snow tires, while I’d like to pinstripe it with flames. One of us is clearly more pragmatic.

The only problem with my eGO is that I had to give it back.

Related to that problem is that I’d need to sell a lot of my stuff on eBay to buy an ellitpiGO. The starting price is about $1800, and while it’s a versatile piece of equipment that I could put on my fluid trainer in the winter, that’s still a lot for a girl on a budget. Ada didn’t have one, for example, or Inman might’ve eWENT and survived the bounty hunters.

My sense is that for the elliptiGO to really take off (not literally, but that’d be totally awesome) it’ll have to get more affordable or become a much more visible competitive sport on its own. It’s already well on it’s way to the latter, what with elliptiGO races, elite athletes who use them to train, and Adam Goucher elliptiCOMPETING in the upcoming championship elliptiRACE.

One might even go so far as to suggest that the Republican VP candidate, who apparently is not lacking for ego, could actually achieve his two fifty-something marathon on one.

One might suggest that. However, I would rather suggest that elliptiGO could expand their access to more modestly incomed folks by hiring a scrappy and athletic woman with social marketing acumen and a talent with the written word to spread the eGOSPEL. Just an idea.

While I wait for elliptiGO to contact me…….

…….

it’s back to the rugged life of feet on asphalt and a taser in the garage. Just like Ada.