Running Makes You Smart And Other Lies

I’m sure you’re all losing sleep over my shin. An update: I am stupid but not lame, at least not literally. This treadmill debacle seems to have injured my ego more than anything. My shin keeps looking worse, but it’s actually feeling better, which is perhaps the nuanced punishment for being an idiot.

There was an article in the NY Times Magazine a couple weeks ago about how running smartens up your brain. I’m really not so sure about that. I’d go with Sudoku if I were you. Running has led me to some pretty half-baked decisions. Remember that time I decided to fly solo to Australia and run 93 km in the Outback with a total stranger? Damn, I was lucky Richard wasn’t a sociopath.

Anyway, I’ve made enough stupid moves as a runner (e.g., the squats and lunges fiasco of Feb 2012) that I might actually be getting dumber.

All that said, I will accept my ditzy lack of kinesthetic awareness. There is a reason I picked a sport that requires nothing beyond moving forward as fast as one can. I know my place in the athletic pecking order. I ran 13.1 on Sunday and 8 tonight, didn’t fall over even once, and the leg felt good. In fact, tonight’s run felt like I’d lost a 200-lb monkey off my back. Runs like that are why we run, non? That, cocktails, and donuts.

So it looks like I can carry my monkey-less weight in the relay. Somehow I was gifted with the privilege of running 25 of the 186 miles that are divided among the 12 of us, which should be fine because none of it is on a treadmill. Also, Ringmaster Dan is going to put a harness on me and pull me behind the van with a Cape Codder and a donut hanging out the window.

So clearly we’re all set. The weather looks good, and the team looks good, too. For the future relay team organizers out there, please consider that it’s very important to form a team of attractive runners because you want hot people to cheer for you from the van. My primary criteria for recruitment was, “Would I want to see this person sweaty and excited at 3 a.m.?”

Wow, maybe I’m smarter than I thought.

2 responses

  1. Wow… now I’m even more excited that you asked me to run. :) Have so much fun and don’t forget I want to run this with you next year. Be careful out there, Pinto. Eyes on the road.

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